I was working, and then I procrastinated on Facebook, and then it felt like time to write something about Charlie Hebdo.

We live in a remarkable world where the internet allows us to connect with hundreds of thousands of people. And I have been lucky enough in my life to meet a wide variety of people with some great thoughts and fascinatingly disparate viewpoints. It didn’t surprise me at all to find that these were being loudly broadcasted, but it did make me feel strongly like also airing my views (of which I have many, not all organised yet).

Firstly, I don’t think there is any question that what happened at Charlie Hebdo is a tragedy. The ability of one human to destroy another will never cease to horrify me. Loss of life is always a terrible thing.

Secondly, the hashtag #jesuischarlie is trending across the world and huge events are emerging, not only in solidarity with the French people, but in the name of freedom of expression and protecting it.

Thirdly, I don’t think there is any question that some of the art featured in Charlie Hebdo over the years has been in slightly (and sometimes incredibly) poor taste. I am a great fan of satire as a way to explore the flaws in society and create something entertaining which forces people to take a good look at their own views – but it can be overdone, or simply done in a way which is ultimately offensive and not intelligent.

Now, put these three things together, and you get the explosion of arguments which I have seen across my Facebook feed all day. I honestly didn’t know much about Charlie Hebdo, but a few hours of research has brought me to the following final conclusion:

Freedom of expression is important, and it’s appropriate that it was the French writer Voltaire who came out with the famous quote “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it”. However, Charlie Hebdo did venture worryingly close to pure racism, and that isn’t something to applaud. The key thought here though, is that people using the hashtag #jesuischarlie aren’t applauding Charlie Hebdo. This isn’t a choice to support a racist publication. This is a statement of sadness at an unconscionable act of violence, and a statement in support of freedom of expression. Suggesting that people don’t use that hashtag isn’t valuable, it’s just an excuse to start an fight. Awareness rarely comes from confrontation on the internet.

This has all been a bit of a jumble, but I think the main point is clear. After what I’ve seen and read today, I’m not a Charlie Hebdo fan. But that doesn’t mean je ne suis pas Charlie. It just means #jesuischarlie and je suis ready to fight violence, hate crime, and limiting freedom of expression, as well as being ready to question a racist publication. That is what je suis.

I didn’t actually go away-away (as in, to another place) but I went away from my blog. And then in the interim you may have noticed my blog went away for a couple of days. Because in the infinite wisdom of the internet, nominet decided to only tell me after my site had been down for 24 hours that I needed to renew my domain. So hey.

The reason I have been away is that October is the month of all the things. It’s the month of getting back into the stride of university and remembering that I have a degree to do, which this year comes with the added bonus of PhD applications (which are a joyous thing, believe me [does sarcasm work in writing?]). I’ve also been involved in producing “Into the Woods” with Music Theatre which is well on it’s way to being a top show, but is incredibly time consuming.

Then there is Halloween, which if you remember last year you’ll know is a big deal in casa de Sally and Boyfriend. So there was that. Also, among all of the other many things I have a job. Oh! One last thing. I’m cheating on this blog with another one now. It’s not live yet, but it is the LUU Backstage blog and I have been writing posts for it generally, and specifically about the SMS Cabaret for which I had the great job of being Production Manager. It was great fun and once my blog about it goes live I’ll definitely share.

In the meantime,  I really can’t promise I’ll be back here for a while, but I’ll try and pop up with fun updates from time to time. However, since my readership over the last month has overwhelmingly been Korean spammers, I doubt you’ll mind too much.

안녕 지금

1. I just spelled “three” as “thriss”. This is because I am tired. This week is super busy, so please don’t expect a lot on the blog front (oh you, disembodied and possibly imaginary reader).

2. Pomegranates are the best, weirdest fruit ever, and we don’t appreciate them enough. They are like alien food. They also remind me of a book I read about 15 years ago in which some people moved to Mars or somewhere and planted wheat and then when it grew the grains were like little gemstones. Pomegranates are full of gemstones.

3. I have no idea what 3 was. I’m so tired. Bye.

This weekend and next week I am off on a jolly, and may not be blogging much (depending on if anything interesting happens I may recount it later).

Then, term begins again at university. Given I am doing a research masters course, I haven’t technically cared about terms and such frippery, but being so involved in various student groups and societies, the start of term still feels quite significant to me. This will be my 6th consecutive year studying at Leeds (though of course I had a year living in Morocco, as we all remember). I wanted to take a moment to just reflect on how long and important a time the last 5 years have been for me.

Firstly, it is LONG. More than a 5th of my life, which is a big ol’ chunk of life.

I’ve lived in 3 different countries, visited countless more. I’ve had 4 different jobs, or 5 counting my internship at the British Council.

I have finished one degree and am onto my second, with hopes that I may even get a third before this time next year. A girl can have dreams.

Boyfriend came into my life almost exactly 5 years ago, and while we’ve had our fair share of stumbles and troubles, I couldn’t be happier that he’s stuck around.

I’ve been lucky enough to be on two society committees, direct two shows, produce three shows, work behind the scenes on countless others, and own what must be coming on for 20 different show hoodies.

All in all, it’s been a really busy exciting and interesting 5 years, in which I’ve made new friends, seen new places, had new experiences, and learnt more than I could ever have imagined learning when I came to Leeds. I somewhat naively thought I was coming here just to get a degree – what a fool. Here’s to the next 5 (or at least 1 more).