Frustration

Rant

When you were little, did you ever play the game frustration? This one:

Frustration Game
borrowed from Steve Berry on Flickr

So I was bad at this game, because I am bad at frustration. It’s one of those emotions which just eats away at me, and I can’t ignore it no matter how hard I try. My biggest issue is probably that I find a whole lot of things frustrating, so I’m often feeling frustrated one way or another.

My biggest frustration though, is other people. It’s a constant amazement to me how people can do things in the most difficult, unhelpful, or genuinely stupid ways, when the obvious answer is staring them in the face. The issue is that in most situations you can’t tell people how wrong they are doing something. Either it’s a case of not hurting their feelings, letting them learn something for themselves, or simply not wanting to burn any delicate bridges. So here I sit, stewing in my frustration and unable to do anything to remedy the issue with the blindingly obvious solution.

So never mind then, I suppose. As Boyfriend has so wisely said, I just need to

…is this the first time I’ve made that pun? Amazed I’ve lasted this long.

Not news to me

Rant

Does anyone else have a big problem with what is considered news?

I’m not talking about the Kim Kardashians of the world. We all know that’s not news, and in fact it’s a while since the tabloids have run anything that isn’t vapid and prying. Or meaningless “real-life” rubbish. But I digress, because I think the world agrees that the tabloids aren’t “news”, they are just “things we want to read because we are nosy”.

My issue is, it seems to be creeping across into parts of the media I’d still like to gain something from. Here is my personal definition of news:

Something current which has a broad impact and important real-world implications to the target audience

I’ve spoken on here before about Leeds Student Newspaper, though as their editors and reporters change year-on-year I am reserving judgement on the current crop. In the past year, however, they have run articles which defy my definition of news offensively often. Stories which have nothing to do with their target audience, the student body, stories which aren’t current, and most importantly, stories which just aren’t important.

Which brings me to the trigger for today’s rant. I was watching the BBC news this morning (which by all accounts should be a “proper” news source) and one of the stories they spent the longest on was that of Ashya King. About a week ago there was a big scare when the police thought his parents had kidnapped him, after they discharged him from a UK hospital without the doctors’ permission. They were arrested in Spain, and later released after it became clear that there had been a miscommunication between all parties and they had their child’s best interests at heart.

That should be the end of the story.

But no. Today, we are camping out in front of the hospital in Prague where the family may be headed to get the treatment they couldn’t get through the NHS. Let’s continue to harangue them, because there is no way they’ve been through enough. I’m sorry, I care deeply that Ashya gets his treatment and that his family are safe and well, but it’s not national news. When we were manhunting them over his safety, thumbs up, national news. Now he’s safe. End of. Please can we stop manufacturing stories just to appeal to some sick tabloid fanaticism from a margin of the viewing public. Why was I not being told about shelling in Ukraine, or the slump of the pound following referendum poll results. That is news. Following a family through Europe? Not news to me.

Young at Heart

Fun, Life

Today I did something which I’ve been dying to do for ages…I fed the ducks. Here’s a few pictures.

ducks ducks ducks

And I know what you’re thinking. Sally, you rant about world politics and feminism, discuss your future career and whine about your masters degree. Where in that personality is there space to be a child? Well, for all the doubters (and there are many, because it’s well known that I am considered “Mum” for most people, and generally elderly by many people) I am definitely a complete child inside.

I love children’s books, and have never really graduated on to adult literature. I watch every children’s film which comes out in the cinema, especially Marvel comics or animated ones. I laugh at childish jokes, bounce on my bed, and generally annoy Boyfriend by behaving like a 7 year old in the house. This 7 year old to be precise…what was my lovely Mother thinking? Such a fashion victim.

tiny sally

I will always yearn for being a kid, because I enjoyed it so much, but it’s nice that despite growing older, I haven’t yet “grown up”. Considering not so long ago my Mother and I chased some pigeons and then laughed about it for ages just because she suddenly wanted to, I don’t think I’ll ever really grow up. And who wants to anyway?

Teacher teacher

Life, Work

I’ve always wanted to be a teacher, and always also not wanted to. The second part is easy, I don’t want to be a teacher because it’s one of the hardest jobs ever, being responsible for the progression and development of a bunch of kids who may not want to learn from you at all. It only takes a single watch of “Educating…” (current series is Educating the East End) to see that. The first part is a bit more complicated, so I thought it was probably worth a blog post.

First and foremost, I love teaching. I’ve done several informal teaching jobs through my life and I’ve loved every single one, because there is honestly nothing better than watching people learn and discover new things. I think adults lose the joy of learning very quickly, which is such a shame. I’m a prime example – I’m still a student, and I love it, but then I’m writing a blog post rather than my thesis. The love is still there, but the joy isn’t quite any more.

I also love the idea of helping people find themselves. “The Breakfast Club” is the classic coming of age film, and I remember watching my friends find themselves and learn about their own ways of thinking, their personal philosophies and politics with the help of teachers and through our school years. I’d love to be able to support young people through that time, because it’s so formative.

I think my biggest motivation towards being a teacher is that I love languages and English Literature, and I’d love to pass on everything I know about them to others. The decline of language teaching in the UK is depressing, and I hope to be part of the wave of language teachers who change that and show that languages open up the world to people. That would be the best result of all.

So I don’t know whether I’ll become a teacher, and the prospect is very scary, but if I do, I hope I can manage everything I’ve said here.

 

Selfish

Life

Selfishness is an ugly trait. If there is one thing in the world I’m always going to strive not to be, it’s probably selfish, because there is firstly no reason for it other than an exaggerated opinion of your own value (which is not above the value of others), and secondly you are doing yourself so few favours by being selfish.

I should probably point out at this point that my rant of today is being triggered by the attitude of some people in my life, and I am going to attempt to analyse the annoyances I have with the attitude itself, rather than the people involved (as I have gotten myself into trouble with friends before on this blog for writing things in a way that offended people – something I absolutely never intend to do). 

So, selfishness can come in many forms, and I think it’s fair to say that despite striving to not be it, everyone has moments of selfishness. I often selfishly take the last of whatever there is on the plate, because it looks delicious and I want it. But these low acts of selfishness are probably OK, because the fundamental thing is, I’d never take the last slice of pizza if someone else had said that they wanted it. In isolation selfishness happens, and is fine. In a situation involving others, selfishness should be avoided because, as previously mentioned, it’s ugly and it gets you nowhere.

But Sally, I hear you cry, selfishness does get you somewhere – it gets you to the thing that you selfishly wanted. Well yes, voices in my head, you’re not wrong. But that’s a temporary thing. Yes, you have the world the way you want it, but in my situation at least, you have that at the expense of a degree of friendship and possibly the offer of reciprocal help should you need it. The thing you are holding on to is nice, and yours, but it probably won’t be that way forever, and in the meantime, I’m forming opinions about you as an ugly character, which I won’t drop easily when you next come to me for help. It is there that the loss occurs, and other people are so important that I’d never want to lose someone over something.

Let’s just tackle the other aspect of selfishness now. An over-inflated sense of worth. I don’t care how you put it in your own mind, if you think that you deserve something which someone else wants, already has, or needs, you are wrong and have an over-inflated sense of worth. You deserve nothing in life – you earn things. They might be nice, material things, or those wonderful intangible things like friendship and respect, but you never deserve them, they can only be gained through your actions. If you’ve grown up thinking you deserved things, it’s time to change that attitude, because I may write a rant on a blog and treat you with a small degree less of friendship, but other people won’t be so kind.

Don’t be selfish. Being selfless will make you feel better, gain you the things you really need in life, and avoid all kinds of conflicts. Plus, I won’t secretly hate you.

McDonalds, get down from that high horse

Food

Let’s just quickly have a talk about how McDonalds need to get down off their high horse. They’ve got a radio advert which I’ve been meaning to bring up for a while. It comes on towards the start of every month, and is all about how wonderful they are for giving away free fruit.

One Friday a month.

This month, it’s one pineapple stick.

McDonalds, this does not make you a good company, and it does not make up for the shocking quality of the rest of your food. Just because you use good meat, doesn’t mean it’s a good meal when you pulverize it and fry it to death. In the same way, just because you offer a tiny amount of fruit for free, one day each month, doesn’t make you a “healthy option”. Just step away from the horse. It’s not the right place for you.

Women in Parliament

Rant

We all know my views on feminism. So when I was watching the news in the gym yesterday, you can imagine my reaction when Edwina Currie and a Labour woman whose name I can’t remember (she clearly had an impact)** turned up to debate the creation of all-female shortlists for parliamentary positions.

No. Let’s just not do that.

I understand that there is a sad lack of equality in numbers between men and women in the UK parliament. According to the piece, 23% of our MPs are women. Which is low. But much as I hate to admit it, I agree with Edwina Currie. Quotas are not the answer. The argument is clear – we should look to pick the best person for the job, and excluding half of the candidates on the spurious basis of gender is not the way for that to happen. There will be an assumption that any woman who gets in via a purposefully all-female shortlist may not be up to the job, and there will be men who will complain of being marginalised. It’s all just a backwards step.

What needs to happen, as with the majority of cases where “feminism” comes into play, is that people need to be educated. Selection committees need to go through training to help them identify any prejudices which they might hold, and help them to productively question them. More women need to be inspired towards applying for positions in parliament because undoubtedly a contributing factor is that it’s still seen as a bit of a boys’ club which undoubtedly puts female candidates off. Other women in parliament need to be educated as well – Edwina Currie pointed out that they can be as much of a barrier as the men.

Ultimately, this is an issue which extends far beyond parliament. This graphic, pulled from a Daily Mail article (I’m so sorry) shows the percentage of women in top positions, and it’s an interesting read. women in top jobs ukI understand where the demand for all-female shortlists is coming from, but I think it’s entirely the wrong way to cope with the issue. This is yet another example of where some women need to take a step back from their feminist viewpoint and look at the wider picture – marginalising men isn’t improving anything, it’s just changing the problem. Education across the board is the real solution.

**I take the above back. I’m fairly sure it was Luciana Berger. However the internet is giving nothing away, meaning actually I don’t take back the impact thing.

Challenge Accepted!

Fun, Life

This morning, I was issued a challenge on the Face-book. Before you ask, no, it wasn’t the Ice Bucket Challenge. It was a challenge to list 10 books which have influenced my life. Now, I’m not really a “doing challenges on facebook” kind of person because as I’ve already mentioned, I think it’s a bit self-indulgent, but I was really interested in thinking up 10 books (only 10!) which have influenced my life. 

So, here is my list, after much consideration.

Sophie’s World – Jostein Gaarder
This is a pretty great book all round. It explains the history of philosophy, while bonding those teachings to the story of a girl called Sophie. I read it many years ago and still constantly quote it. It also helped me to understand that lego is the most amazing toy in the world.

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Lewis Caroll (and The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor as a bonus)
Best of all the pseudo-fairy tales, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland is my favourite fantasy novel of all time. I devour all remakes and reworkings of it, and love practically every one, because everything about the world of Wonderland is so romantic, fantastical and amazing. I will always be a child when I read this book.

Macbeth – William Shakespeare
Shakespeare is amazing, but we all study him to death at school and I think I’d be forgiven for hating Macbeth I’ve studied it so often. I don’t though, because it’s brilliant. It embodies everything I love about good playwriting – atmosphere, strong characters, a dramatic plotline, and moving trees. All important features, I feel.

Everything by Terry Pratchett
Of all the authors, Terry Pratchett is my absolute favourite. The man is an artist of the highest order, because it is difficult enough to be moral and make people think, but it is just something else to do that while also making them laugh and referencing cultural and historical phenomena from the dawn of time and across the whole world. I love Terry Pratchett.

Poetics – Aristotle
It’s just a great examination of literature, structure, and the appreciation which early civilizations had of the art of writing. Poetry is a little bit my thing, and I don’t think I could consider this list complete without including this fundamental text in the study of poetry. It may have been superseded by many other pieces, but it’s still a pretty big deal.

The Art of War – Sun Tzu
…which, shamefully, I actually haven’t finished. What I have read, however is brilliant. The main thing which makes this a great book is that it explains not only warfare, but life, and how to effectively conduct meaningful interactions with your fellow man. Practically every lesson which Sun Tzu mentions can be applied to some aspect of modern life.

The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
Iain Banks is an amazing writer, and I was lucky enough to ask him some questions about The Wasp Factory at an open radio event. It’s an odd book, but as with many on this list it delves into people and the factors which help to construct a psyche. Hands down one of the best plot twists I’ve ever read as well.

Dracula – Bram Stoker
A Gothic classic (and who doesn’t love Gothic. It’s the ultimate genre) about the vampiric master and his terrifying threat to Victorian life. I quite like the way Mina Harker has been remade as a warrior heroine in recent times, as I never read her that way in the book. The imagery is amazing, and it’s an all-round stunning read and great introduction to the genre.

The Red Tent – Anita Diamant
The Red Tent is the untold story of Dinah, the sister of Joseph (he of dreamcoat fame) from the Bible. It’s not only a wonderfully told story of multiple generations of women, full of fascinating historical references and traditions, it’s the other side of the coin, something modern feminism really embraces – but sadly sometimes not in the right way. It’s a stand-out for me.

…y no se lo trago la tierra – Tomás Rivera
It’s tempting to include loads of the books I’ve read through my time at university on this list, because they’ve all been somehow formative, but I decided on …y no se lo trago la tierra because before I read it I had almost no knowledge of the Chicano movement and people. It’s a beautiful, fascinating, sometimes very sad, but always well-written window into a social group which are hardly known in Europe. 

If I had to choose just one of these books to recommend for other people to read, I think it would be Sophie’s World, which is probably the book I feel has taught me the most. If I could only read one for the rest of my life, I’d pick Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Compared to many of these lists, I should think that mine is somewhat less political and left-wing formative than many I’ve seen, but I think that this list reflects a different type of learning – learning about people, the psyche, reactions and interactions. To this end, all of these books are incredibly important to me, and I’d recommend them to absolutely anyone.

Treasure Hunting

Fun

The top news today as I walked to the gym (on Capital FM, we’re not talking serious news here) was the treasure hunt going on at Folkstone Beach. As part of the Folkstone Triennial a German artist has buried £10,000 of gold across the beach, and if you find it, you keep it. They’ve also buried washers to confuse metal detectors and make the whole thing a bit more interesting. It’s called “Participation Art” (or something like that).

It got me thinking about an amazing book which I had when I was little, so I decided to look it up and remind myself of it. The book is Masquerade by Kit Williams, and it’s the story of Jack Hare, who is a messenger for the Moon, carrying a token of her love to the Sun. When he gets there, at the end of the book, he finds that he’s lost it somewhere. The cool thing? Kit Williams made a trinket which he then hid somewhere in Britain, and the key to finding it was the book.

By the time I read the book, the treasure had of course already been found, and the solution is on the Wikipedia page for anyone interested. I think the idea of a treasure hunt like this is so romantic, particularly the so-called “arm chair treasure hunts” like Masquerade. The beauty and complexity of the pictures is amazing and stimulating to any enquiring mind. It’s puzzles like these which have probably lead to me being such a lover of things like The Crimson Room and it’s successors. Recently Boyfriend came across a real-life locked room game in Leeds, called Tick Tock Unlock, and I can’t wait to try that as well. Life is really one big treasure hunt anyway.

 

Guilt

Life

Today I am wracked with guilt. It’s a sensation which I get often.

The guilt I am feeling today is gym guilt. It’s a breed of guilt which I get quite a lot, because though I have been relatively good at going to the gym, it’s too easy to convince myself that I can skip a day, only to feel insta-regret as soon as it’s too late to go.

Going to the gym has been good for me. I’ve lost some weight, gained a great deal of health, and all round felt better. Plus I use less water in the house because I shower there, and I also don’t wake up Boyfriend with the hairdryer. Everyone’s a winner. The problem comes on days like today, where I wake up and hear the rain, feel lovely and warm in bed, and then get a text from my gym buddy saying she’s skipping. It’s impossible not to convince myself that I can get away with missing the gym just this once. 

To be honest, I actually am fine missing it just this once, because I do go fairly consistently. For the price of my membership, twice a week is cost-effective, and two days a week I am not having to go before work, so that should be entirely achievable. Two days a week may not seem like much, but then I’m also not working towards any goals other than keeping my general fitness up, which I probably do fairly well with all the general rushing around that my life entails.

So why do I feel so damn guilty?

To be honest, I think it’s been a long process leading to this point. I don’t remember feeling guilty for not doing things, but since I got to uni, I’ve been becoming more and more relaxed (thanks to Boyfriend for teaching me) and with that relaxation comes a backlash of just not getting quite as much DONE as I used to. Then the guilt finds its way in. I’m learning to work through it (think of this post as therapy) because that guilt is not healthy, but I don’t want to lose it. I just want it to morph into productive motivation to get things done. Which it will, in time. Until then, I just have to deal with a little bit of guilt. Oh well.