Deep, dark thoughts

Life

I am a bit obsessed with darkness.

By which I do not mean, let’s be clear, the actual state of darkness. I’m actually petrified of the dark, as I believe I’ve mentioned before.  What I actually mean is that I have a fascination with all things mysterious, or morose, or just downright dark and weird and scary.

I think this is quite clear through the work I have posted on my work page, and it really centres on a fascination with emotion, how people feel things, and how they respond to those feelings. I’m a deeply emotional person (see Sally-Mood) and that’s something I’ve always been interested to explore. I can frequently be found glued to the Wikipedia article on serial killers, or the psychology of horror films. Anything with a dark or gritty undertone will have me hooked – which is probably why I like Once Upon A Time so much.

I don’t think this is a negative thing at all. Being willing to explore emotions is a fundamental part of being able to be truly creative (I  believe), and as I do a lot of performing, writing, and appreciating of other people’s creations, I think being willing to embrace human darkness is a very valuable quality.

Mostly, I think the obsession stems from not really having exposure to darkness. I’ve had a very lucky life, full of amazing experiences, and I think that overall it’s turned me into a very positive and proactive person. When something negative has happened to me I’ve been fascinated by the impact it has had on me, and that’s really made me even more interested in that facet of personality. The main memory I have of pure sadness is visiting Auschwitz-Birkenau with a national project called the Holocaust Educational Trust. Even though the visit wasn’t something which had any personal meaning for me, I found the visit deeply impactful, and I just couldn’t bring myself to speak for most of the tour. It is an experience I will never forget, and a sensation I’ll always be fascinated to explore – though naturally I hope I can avoid personal sadness which runs that deep.

Leeds Student

Rant

Let’s take a second to talk about Leeds Student newspaper.

They are having their funding cut this year*, meaning they will not be able to continue issuing their print edition. Twitter is in uproar over this, and I think it’s incredibly stupid. Here are some things to consider:

  • This is the most important point. I do not agree with Leeds Student having their funding cut, and I agree that a print copy of the paper is a good thing, and the union should maintain a print media outlet. Even if it’s often a bit crap (the front page “Milions” incident of last year springs to mind…).

HOWEVER…

  1. The print version is currently free. Would all the twitterers  be willing to pay for it (even 20p?). I doubt it.
  2. Repeatedly, people are claiming “they are silencing the student voice”. I’m sorry, but when did LS in print become the only version of LS? Most of their decent content is online. Read it online. The Scribe and Lippy Mag are managing fine.
  3. 9K fees “are you getting enough”. I have nothing to say. The university is not funding the paper, nor should they. I don’t agree with how high tuition is now, but it’s for your education. Turn up to your sodding lectures.
  4. “There is no logic behind this cut”. YES THERE IS. IT’S TOO EXPENSIVE. Money doesn’t grow on trees, and I’d love to know how many copies of Leeds Student (printed on trees, see what I did there) aren’t picked up each week. It’s a waste. Added to this, lots of alumni are joining in on twitter, including the lovely Jay Rayner (my favourite critic). If you all care so much, how about an alumni whip-round?jay rayner

And while I’m on this subject, why the grumbling about the Leeds Student Editor position being separate in the Leadership Race? It’s a separate job. More to the point, it’s a job, and it shouldn’t be a popularity contest anyhow. I don’t recall being allowed to elect anyone the head of the Guardian/Times/your paper of choice. Let me know if I’m wrong, do. I know that LS is slightly different, being the main union media outlet but still. Point stands I feel.

/rant. (For today)

*EDIT: After I finished writing this, this article turned up. Please Lord, how do Leeds Student expect us to take them seriously when they manage to start a national sodding campaign to save them from something which was an incorrect rumour all along. I just can’t even…

#SELFIE

Language, Music, Rant

I love that the word selfie is in the dictionary.

As Boyfriend always says, one of the great things about English is how it’s always evolving. Now brace yourselves for some language geekery, but I love that because that’s not the case in every language. Arabic does keep having words added to it, as loan words, but they will never really be Arabic because the structure of the language denies new words really being created. English doesn’t, we accept and create and re-purpose words all the time and that’s great.

Now, naturally this post has a point other than me spouting about languages, which is the whole “no make up selfie to raise awareness for cancer”.

NOW. 

We’re well aware I have “views” on things, but I know from the personal experience of my own Facebook wall today that this has been done to death, so I will express my “views” as neat bullet points.

  • If you posted a selfie and didn’t donate you’re an attention whore, go home.
  • No, there is no need to raise awareness of cancer. Everyone knows about cancer.
  • Yes, there is a need to give more to charity to help combat it. However, I’d like to see more going to support charities like Macmillan than to Cancer Research. They get tonnes of funding.
  • No, you do not look ugly without make-up.
  • No, you do not look stunning without make-up. You look normal. It’s fine.
  • Yes, wear make-up if you want. It’s your face. Ignore haters.

So there we are. Have a music video to help. It’s so bad it’s good, I promise.

#SELFIE

 

Gym (pronounced guy-mh)

Life

So I got gym membership.

Normally I am dead against memberships and in general payments for things in advance, because I feel cheated out of the money immediately, and then go on to resent the thing I’ve paid for until I’ve had my full use of it. With gym membership that’s a lot of resentment given the minimum term at the on-campus gym is 3 months.

However, I bit the bullet and did it, because it’s a good way to hang around with my best friend now that we’re both doing Masters degrees and have no time for each other. Plus there is really nothing wrong with getting up at 6.30 (or 6.32 because I can’t have my alarm set to a round number, go figure) and doing an intense workout before work. It’s actually a wonderful way of getting ready for the day.

One problem: I’m still getting to bed ridiculously late, which means I’m losing out on sleep nowadays. However, given how much I used to sleep in Morocco, I think I’ve got a decent backlog to get through.

 

Photoshop

Fun, Life

So, as I have mentioned a considerable number of times recently, I’m going through my blog and neatening it around the edges.

It’s been a lovely journey, but one of the things I’d forgotten (and now painfully remember) is that I created a lot of my own images earlier on. And I didn’t do a good job. There’s nothing explicitly wrong with MS Paint in the hands of a 5 year old, but when you’re 23 and you still look like you let your baby cousin go mad for  a few minutes, it’s time to consider alternatives.

I’ve been considering getting Photoshop. It’s taken me years to come to terms with the fact that I am simultaneously not artistic and very creative, and I think photoshop might be my medium. After all, how can a tool which lets you do things like this be bad?

Photoshopped First Fractal by Aseryith

How cool is that? I think I’ll have a bit of work to do before I can create anything so cool, but maybe I can make my jellybean look more like a jellybean. Poor jellybean.

bean

Miley Cyrus

Food, Life

Why would you bother to write about Miley Cyrus, I hear you ask.

Well, there’s a very good reason. A while ago I wrote a post called Leeds, Cyprus and Other Things, and since I’ve been doing my blog overhaul I keep coming across it, as it’s near the top of my page of uncategorised posts. And I keep catching it out of the corner of my eye and wondering what ever possessed me to write a post on Miley Cyrus.

So you see, we’re in the same boat you and I, because I also have no idea why I’d bother to write about Miley Cyrus. Her shock-tactics in the last year do not shock me, because this is what celebrities do all the time. Does no-one remember Lindsey Lohan and her impressive freefall into the oblivion of “being famous”?

In other news, I am craving Msemen like nothing in the world after reading some more of my old posts. Moroccan food is the best food, and I want some NOW.

Look how beautiful and unhealthy the look…

Save Syrian Children

Life

Earlier today this campaign video from Save the Children popped up on my Facebook news feed, and I wanted to share it because

a) Who doesn’t want to keep viral videos viral?
b) It’s a really good cause, and a hard-hitting but effective message

Past me

Life, Morocco

As I have mentioned a few times recently (I say recently, I haven’t blogged in over a month. I’m so bad at this)…anyway, as I’ve mentioned recently, I’m doing a bit of a blog overhaul, having shifted over to WordPress, and that has meant going back to all of my old posts and re-reading them in order to recategorise them.

All I can say, in reaction to my past self is wow. You were a cow.

Though I’ve really enjoyed my time-capsule experience; it’s part of the reason I began blogging anyway, to preserve my personal story of my time abroad, I’m amazed at how I sometimes felt. It really shows the rose-tinted glasses effect – I have nothing but positive memories of my time in Morocco, but my past posts have really shown that wasn’t the case, from relationship problems (both with the Boy and with my peers) to struggles with the culture.

So I’m deeply grateful to past me for keeping this blog, and giving me an insight into my own life. However, I feel like now is the time to point out that for all the trials and tribulations of living in Morocco, I had an amazing time and made some amazing friends. I wouldn’t change my experience for the world.

A serious overhaul

Life

I’m doing a serious blog overhaul. Since I’ve moved over to WordPress things have been looking a little messy (posts not being nicely categorised etc) and I’ve realised that in some ways that applies to my entire internet life. I’m trying to get everything sorted and in some kind of order, to which end I’ve been going through my old posts.

What on Earth was I writing most of the time?!

Good thing no-one actually reads this blog, otherwise I’d have to blush and run away.

Another thing I’m doing is looking through all kinds of old bits on my computer, which alerted me to all my teenage poetry. I loved (and continue to love) writing poetry, and while mine seems to be filled with all kinds of drama and general teenage angst I’m still proud of it, so expect to see a page with my work on popping up in the near future.

 

Tata for now x