Let me tell you about Eid.

We  kill one of those –> actually kill it like with blood and stuff.
At the momemt, that’s prettymuch all I know about the process, but that feels like enough. Not massively into Sheep-Slaughter myself.

However, something I do personally know about Eid, is that it is trying to destroy my life. Because until yesterday, everything was going fine, I was popping to a wedding in Rabat tomorrow, back by Sunday, and then chilling here next week.

Yesterday, that all changed, when we decided what would be better would be to go to Rabat, and then just stay there. For the whole week. Friday-Friday.

Now, I don’t function well without my computer anyway, because I use it to keep in contact with everyone I love at home, so a week without internet feels pretty bad anyway. Lets factor into that now, the fact that I am supposed to have class on Monday and Tuesday. This wouldn’t be an issue if the school could treat us like adults, but apparently they can’t. Which means I was told in no uncertain terms earlier that unless I get written permission to be absent from Leeds, that will count against my grade. Even though I have no option but to go, and anyway it’s a cultural experience. Bad times in other words.

Final life destroying factor. I don’t even much want to miss class, but it is a kind offer and I will not be so rude as to refuse it. But I have to have written permission, and that has to come from our ‘Year Abroad Tutor’. The woman who took 8 weeks to reply to a student e-mail. I have little chance of getting my permission by tomorrow, and I resent greatly being marked down because of this quite clearly well -explained absence. I am not a happy sheep. I feel like I’m heading to an Eid celebration.

I’ve always considered myself quite an honest person, but I began to wonder today if maybe I am too confident in my own honesty. Can that sometimes be a bad thing?

I pride myself on the fact that if I am asked a question I will answer it truthfully. Of course, if the truth is that it’s a secret and I can’t tell, or I’ve been specifically asked to keep something quiet then I will, but mostly, I’ll be truthful.

Take this blog for example. Over the course of the past two months I’ve averaged two posts a day, give or take, and so I’ve had a lot of things to say. To write something like this you have to take from the world around you, and so characters from my class, my school and my family pop up all the time. And aside from making sure to omit names where it’s appropriate, I think I’ve been completely honest in my thoughts about these people. None of them read my blog though, which is an issue.

Today at lunch we ended up discussing this, and I was ready to admit to my friends that at some time or another, something I have written on here has been directed at them. Because it’s always little things they do, rather than them personally, I feel completely comfortable telling them, and have told a few people directly what annoys me about their attitude. Today I felt awkward about it for the first time. Everyone has things they think about other people, and I began to think about what people think of me. I don’t particularly mind, unless it is something I should change. I wondered if maybe people would prefer me to be less honest with them about their shortcomings (with regard to attitude, I never presume to judge anyone on any other aspect of their life, and I hope I never will).

So what do you think? Is honesty always the best policy?

I am in the flat. The flat belongs to my friend Natalie and then a couple of other ALIF students. It’s really near the school so it’s cool to be able to come and hang here. I really ought to be revising for my test tomorrow but I have no drive when I’m around other people. I just find them so distracting. For a simple example, lets take the fact that I have taken about twenty minutes to write this much of a post. I should probably just delete it and stop here, but I won’t.

It’s now 3pm, meaning I have an hour before my next class. Which is why I should revise. But then I have tonight, with Habiba. I could probably use a good reason for her not to talk to me.

Currently my Texan friend is having problems making it to class. He’s the only person in his group, which should be motivation to go, but so far he’s tried three times with no success. Actually that’s a slight exaggeration, he’s only tried once, but even so. I feel quite bad because apparently I shattered his confidence by commenting on his baby face. For the record, he has a perfectly nice face with or without a beard. It’s just different without, but that is to be expected. Consider any self-confidence re-instated.

Gonna go revise guys. Motivation.