Have I told you about our fridge? It has a personality disorder.

It thinks it’s a freezer.

This would not be a problem, except that it makes eating things from the fridge very difficult. For example, I am not a huge fan of UHT milk. UHT stands for Ultra Heat Treated, which basically means they take the milk and don’t just kill all the bugs, they kill most of the milk as well. They blast it so hot that its flavour changes completely from normal pasturised milk. The good thing about it is that it lasts fine as long as it’s not opened, which is important in a climate like a Moroccan summer. Anyway, back to the story. I’m not a huge fan of UHT milk, but I am a fan of milk in general, and I prefer it to water or juice (which probably means I’ll die of cholesterol problems at an early age). I do not like frozen milk-slushies.

Which is what I am drinking. It’s not great, and it’s making me resent our schizophrenic fridge. It also freezes water bottles I put in it, and it tends to freeze at different rates, so that when I want cold water there is only ice, and when I think it might be nice to take a bottle of ice-water to school (letting it melt along the way) the water is still lukewarm.

There is no winning. The only solution is becoming clear. My fridge needs counselling and possibly a course of treatment.

Stupid fridge.