There are certain characters which appear in every group. It’s like the joke ‘Everyone has a slutty friend…if you don’t know who it is, it’s you’. But it’s true really, everyone has certain friends, and knows certain people. Let me give you a quick list of those people, according to me.

1) The Slutty Friend – This does not just apply to girls. I know just who I would pick as my ‘slutty’ friend, and he is very happy with himself for it, let me tell you. And this does not even have to mean someone who puts it about a bit. It can just be that person who consistently throws themselves at people, and knows that they can get away with it.

2) The Crying Friend – This is not only the person we all know that cries at parties. Everyone knows one. This is the person who just generally needs a good cry quite often. It’s normally a girl, and she’s normally crying over a boy, but no matter how much you try to convince her to get rid of him, she keeps going back. It just happens.

3) The Scary Friend – This is not the person who other people find scary. That person definitely exists, but there is normally something else to them as well. The Scary Friend is the friend who scares you. They are the person who gets inexplicably violent now and then, or who suddenly sinks into a pit of depression. They are the person that you can’t predict. They often run off at night when they’ve been drinking and it’s a pain getting them back.

4) The Quiet One – The Quiet One is definitely someone that everyone knows. They are perfectly lovely, and they are very willing to answer your questions, but holding up conversation simply can’t be done with them. They don’t seem to realise when a silence becomes ‘awkward’ and so it’s really difficult to spend time with them. Unfortunately, they don’t realise that.

5) Perpetual Drunk – This mostly says it all. They are always either drunk/high or hungover. This is annoying because they are normally difficult to communicate with in both states. However, they’re not a bad drunk, since they have such high tolerance of alcohol from being always on the bottle.

6) The Really Geeky One – This person never thinks they are a geek, and in fairness to them, they might not be. But they have some kind of habit that makes them seem really geeky. Either they take things too seriously, or they watch a load of Doctor Who, or they can tell you every constellation in the sky. One way or another, they become your geeky friend.

This has gone on long enough. More another time maybe, or better still, add your own x