When I needed a neighbour
Were you there, were you there?
When I needed a neighbour
Were you there?
And the creed and the colour
And the name won’t matter
Were you there?

There are a load of other verses which run along the same theme, talking about needing a helper, and needing shelter. I never really liked it as a hymn because although the tune is alright it drags quite a lot, rather than being at all bright and cheery.

Today I properly understood the meaning of it. Now don’t worry, I’m not going to go mega-Christian on you…but then that’s only because I feel like anyone else should have done what I did in this situation, regardless of belief. I’m actually a bit shocked at myself for not saying something earlier. Anyway, let me get on to the story. I have a friend in class, and today I went to one of the school coordinators to make sure that he had some contact with her, because I was worried.

Last year, this friend was a fairly unnoticeable student. She had fair attendance and she got on with work, and was generally as average as the rest of us. Towards the end of the year it was suggested she was at a slightly lower level, but I can’t say that I noticed. This year, she arrived a little late, and that seemed to be where the problems started. She didn’t have many friends over her, and she started missing out on classes pretty quickly. At first people pulled her up on it, but soon it became normal. It came to a head about two months in, when other people started commenting that it was affecting their work, having someone constantly absent. And it was clearly affecting her ability to keep up with work. She also confided to me about having trouble sleeping, and how she was really hating her time here.

Finally, last Friday, I realised that I was being a bad neighbour. This friend is certainly not my best friend here, and to be honest it’s hard to pretend I know her well at all. But that doesn’t matter. She’s having some trouble, which I know about, and I was shocked to realise that I hadn’t done anything about it. I’d just sat by and watched. What horrified me more was the response I got when I contacted my university about it. For an establishment who claim excellent pastoral care, it seemed like they couldn’t be bothered. Today I told one of the coordinators at school, who has been really helpful. Hopefully my friends attendance will improve once he’s helped her sort out whatever problems she has.

Next time someone seems like they need a friend, rather than stepping to one side, try to be that friend. You have no idea how much they might need and value that.