Who among you gets caught in the guilt trap? I know I do.
Confused?
Well, let me explain…
The Guilt Trap
The guilt trap is simple. It comes when you’re angry or annoyed or disappointed in someone, and then you feel guilty for feeling that way because you know without a doubt that it can’t be their fault.
But…
You still feel angry/annoyed/disappointed, because that person still has let you down, whether they meant to or not, and you know you have every right to feel a bit off until they explain themselves.
But…
Then you think, but why should they have to explain themselves? They will have a good reason and you know that so why do you need the closure of hearing the explanation? So you feel guilty for wanting to ask.
But….
You can’t hide your feelings from this person, and so eventually you have to come out with how they made you angry/annoyed you/disappointed you and then you feel guilty for being mean to them over nothing (it’s always nothing really)
But…
The person does have a genuine reason (of course) and often it’s something which you need to be sympathetic to, rather than being angry. So then they feel angry/annoyed/disappointed in you. And you feel guilty for making them feel bad.
It’s very hard to avoid the guilt trap, because as I’ve explained, you keep feeling bad about the subject until you’ve told that person, at which point the guilt doubles because you should have known they’d have a good reason and you shouldn’t have doubted them, and anyway, you know it’s something stupid that you have no good cause to be angry about. BUT there is still no way of not bringing it up with that person because otherwise it eats away at you and forces resent, which is something you always want to avoid. So even though getting caught in the trap isn’t fun, it’s pretty necessary.