A post about Eddie Izzard you ask? No.

If you offered half the students in the Hyde Park area of Leeds the option of Cake or Death, they would (in my opinion unwisely, but who am I to comment) choose Death.

I know this fact, because twice a week (at a minimum) I drive through Hyde Park at about 7pm on my way home from work. And therefore twice a week (at a minimum) I nearly kill someone. I don’t mean to, I have no violence or malice in my heart – not before the incident, anyway – but despite this fact, I almost always nearly kill someone. And that is because no-one has explained to students that the rules of the road still apply even if you’re living away from home.

Yes, I know that there are millions of students who live in Hyde Park and that most of them walk and that a lot of the roads are clear a lot of the time. However, sometimes they are not clear, and it is genuinely not up to me to perfectly time when I drive through so that I don’t inconvenience someone on foot by making them pause for oooh, five extra seconds before crossing the road.

I’d be apologetic if that wasn’t such a stupid feeling to have.

Students, please. Learn that you have to look both ways before you cross the road. Please, please understand that you are in a fragile vehicle made of only flesh and blood, and I am in a scary metal box of death. Super extra please remember that there are even larger, even scarier metal boxes of death than mine, such as buses, and if I’m fed up of your antics, just imagine how the bus drivers are feeling.

How 10 people a day don’t get mown down thanks to their own sheer stupidity is beyond me. We let these people into higher education. What is happening to the world.

Have the actual Eddie Izzard video while I disappear into my own personal little middle-class rant.