Oh hello, and welcome to another UK-Holiday-based-rant. The poem goes

Remember, Remember, the 5th of November
Gunpowder, Treason and PLOT
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot

And I do not debate that it is not the best poem ever. But it contains two very fundamental points. Firstly, if we’re going to be having a festival to commemorate Guy Fawkes, it should be on the 5th of NOVEMBER. Not the 3rd to the 10th (which is what everyone around here apparently thinks it is). Just the 5th.

Secondly, we are commemorating TREASON. A plot to blow up the houses of parliament, and kill a bunch of people. The plot, of course, failed, but the result of that was just the ridiculous and brutal oppression of Catholics for years after. No matter which way you look at it, it’s just not a great thing to be commemorating. And how do we choose to commemorate this event?

Bombs.

For one week, the UK government, in memory of THAT TIME IT WAS NEARLY BLOW UP allows all adults in the country to buy pretty coloured bombs, and set them off.

WHAT?!

I may be slightly influenced here by the fact that I really don’t like fireworks, but this just seems like a bit of a skewed festival all round. If we’re going to have all the pretty lights, can’t we at least be celebrating Diwali or something? Please?