Do you know what’s great? Having pockets. They are so useful for keeping things in, such as phones, keys, money, and hands.

Do you know what’s not great? The fact that clothing designers seem to think women don’t need pockets.

Let’s just be clear. I am not in any way interested in carrying a bag around all the time. I’m going to lose it, it’s going to get in the way, and it’s going to end up filled with all kinds of things I don’t need to bring with me everywhere. But I’ll bring them anyway because as we know, if it goes in the handbag, it lives in the handbag forever.

Instead, I’d like to just bring my phone and keys with me in my pocket. Except apparently, as a woman, I’m not allowed pockets of a reasonable capacity for that. Which is crazy, frankly. I understand that women’s clothing is designed with body shape quite strongly in mind, and it’s not necessarily flattering to ruin one’s beautiful curves with chunks of technology. But it’s also my choice. A completely flat pocket shouldn’t alter the shape of a garment – I know, because I watch the Great British Sewing Bee. So could high street shops please hire better pattern-makers who can manage to include pockets in my clothing? I’ll pay a couple of pounds extra for the ability to own clothes which actually do what I want them to.

Or if you’re going to insist I carry a handbag everywhere, could we make them the right size? Because they’re all either too big or too small. There’s just no winning.