I know I’m blogging a lot recently, but don’t worry, soon I’ll find something else to amuse myself. It never lasts.

I’ve decided to define myself as a missomniac. I’m not an insomniac because that would mean that I have trouble sleeping, which I don’t. I’m great at sleeping. I sleep for hours. But then calling myself a somniac wouldn’t feel quite right either, because that’s just the logical opposite of insomniac, and so it doesn’t quite describe me. I’m a missomniac because I get plenty of really rubbish sleep. I am bad at sleep.

The internet (where the facts live, as we know) suggests that if you have a balanced sleep pattern then you go through 4-5 cycles of sleep a night, each of about 90 minutes. You begin in light sleep, then move to deep, then to REM. REM is the good bit, where the dreams happen,  and deep is the bit where you catalogue memories and generally recharge.

Deep and REM should be about 20% each of your night, and then light should be the other 60%. It depends on your age and various other things of course, but given I’m not an elderly lady or an infant, that should be about right.

So when I tell you that I get around 5 – 10% deep sleep per night, you can understand why I call myself bad at sleep.

Of course, I’m fairly used to sleeping “badly” at this point, but it’s still disappointing to wake up late on a weekend and feel no more refreshed than I do waking up early for work. Or worse, having days like today where I only really sleep just as I’m meant to be getting up, and then proceed to battle my own hair all the way to work because I had to rush and didn’t have time to dry it. It’s a drama.

Aside from the above, if you google my blog then it even knows that I have something dodgy and probably sleep-related going on.

Oh spirit! Sod off and let me sleep.